Pot Head

I once met a bloke with a pot on his head,

He’d got it from hiding under his bed,

It was only his missis who used the gazunda.

So what was he hiding from, you may well wonder?

 

Now years later that they’re both long dead.

I can tell you it was she who pushed the pot on his head.

It wasn't intended, but a terrible blunder

As she dived in behind him when it started to thunder.

For Want of a Shoe

Higgledy piggledy poggledy poo,

I once knew a man who lost his left shoe.

He searched around for more than a week.

Then declared: “It’s not to be found, wherever I seek!”

So he chucked the right shoe and went with bare feet.

 

The Naughty Mouse

There’s a mouse on the patio, it’s easy to see.

It preens and scratches and then does a pee,

A little dark patch on the stone is quite clear.

Then out creeps the cat and it scarpers in fear.

 

 

 

The Guy with a Mexican Hat

There’s a guy in our street with a Mexican hat.

He’s tall with a beard, and incredibly fat,

In summer he sits in a deckchair out front,

And invites passers-by to copy his stunt.

 

In winter he drapes in a dirty old mack

And continues to wear that ridiculous hat

But don't go too close or he'll give you slap

Then pull you towards him and onto his lap....

 

Yowwww... WATCH OUT!

The Hoverpot

Back in the 80s a kid called Scott,

Invented a thing called 'The Skateboard Pot',

No longer, he claimed, would he require a loo,

If - while skating - he needed to poo.

 

But ever intent on ways to refine,

A gas-powered version was his next design,

"It's a Hoverpot.", he declared with pride,

"Can we have a go?" his friends all cried.

 

"Of course." he said, "But you need to know...

... it's powered by farts that YOU have to blow.

So eat dates & figs for swift advance,

...but crucially first remove your pants..."

 

Yipeeeee Brrr-Zoooooooom.... (swipe for powered hoverpot)

Acknowledgment: the site author cannot claim merit for The Hoverpot since the idea is from a contributor who prefers to remain anonymous (perhaps for good reason?)